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Crystal Baller Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe Review

9/15/2014 11:15:15 AM
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Crystal Baller Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe Review

Charged with spinning Mercedes-Benz’s imperial star destroyer, the S-class, into a Bentley Continental fighting flagship coupe, the Stuttgart federation broke character: It asked for a solution from the designers rather than the engineers. The resulting shape is beautiful, sexy, muscular, and extravagant. We can all probably agree that Mercedes has designed the hell out of this car.

Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe front view

Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe front view

Like the sedan, its voluptuous body is mostly aluminum. From the first-class interior to the mechanicals, all the bits that matter are shared. Actually, no, not quite. There is the matter of the Swarovski crystal headlamps, which contain 17 rhinestones each in the daytime running lights and 30 in the turn signals, though none in the LED headlights themselves. Swarovski? The “internationally popular luxury brand,” as the press kit slobbers, is based in Austria but known here for its shopping-mall boutiques that push spangled cellphone cases and costume jewelry. The Germans do love their kitsch, but fear not: These fixtures raise the bar on leaded-glass baubles. And they’re optional.

Mercedes’ rediscovered design restraint is more directly observable in the smooth curve of the S-class coupe's truncated tush. With the license plate dropped below the bumper, and an oversized badge floating on the decklid, the connection to the 300SL gullwing is there if you look closely enough. But it is in profile where the new Mercedes design language really stuns.

Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe interior

You'd never realize that the S550 coupe sits only 0.2 inch lower than the CL550 it replaces, thanks to a sandwich of convex and concave character lines borrowed from the compact CLA. They flatten the S-class coupe like an optical panini press, a styling treatment that works better on the larger car because of its proportions- the classic long hood and short deck give those lines full expression here.

Indeed, the pillarless S-class coupe is a full-size muscle car, all 16.5 feet of it. Fitted with the same 449-hp, turbocharged 4.7-liter V-8 and seven-speed automatic as the sedan, the coupe should enjoy a slight power-to-weight advantage over the four door. On our drive through the European countryside, the S felt as if it possessed all the speed you'd ever need on an American highway- quick to downshift and with no discernible turbo lag or lack of thrust until long after you’ve made yourself cop bait. By comparison, the 577-hp S63 AMG coupe seemed as excessive as mixing your martini with grain alcohol.

Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe V-8 engine

Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe V-8 engine

Though we’ve yet to park an S550 coupe on our scales, Mercedes says a European spec car will tip them at just over 4600 pounds. Weight-reduction measures borrowed from the sedan include extensive use of aluminum in the body, suspension, and front structure; a fiberglass trunklid; and a plastic-coated perforated-aluminum panel for the rear bulkhead. We wonder if a few pounds couldn’t be trimmed from the owner’s manual, too. It’s as thick as the Physicians’ Desk Reference, which makes sense, as the modern S-class is only slightly less complicated than the human body.

As in the sedan, the S-class coupe will steer and brake for you, the latter intervention coming earlier and more often than we might like. And it’ll do so while pumping perfumed air into the cabin and kneading your back with its massaging seats. Stuttgart’s latest addition to the feature menagerie is “curve tilting,” a function of the Magic Body Control system that predictively leans the car into bends. The effect on the driver, however, is more unsettling than the body motions the system aims to prevent. It’s one thing to firm up the suspension, but in attempting to eliminate an essential feedback element, handling becomes unpredictable during spirited driving.

Space efficiency is beneath consideration for the S-Class Coupe, which boats minivan length but seating for only four

Space efficiency is beneath consideration for the S-Class Coupe, which boats minivan length but seating for only four

But we won’t worry too much about it because curve tilting is restricted to rear-drive cars for now (i.e., S550 sedans) and the eight-cylinder coupe models are only available in the U.S. with four-wheel drive.

The coupe gets a new three-spoke steering wheel that replaces the strange two-spoke unit in the sedan, and its wheelbase, which is 8.7 inches shorter, gives it a modicum of additional sportiness, egged on by heavy and direct steering. More V-8 rumble makes its way into the coupe’s cabin than has been heard inside an S-class this century.

Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe rear view

Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe rear view

Yet this four-seater still sits resolutely on the luxury side of the continuum- as well it should. It is, after all, the top-of-the-line Benz, a burden the outgoing CL was just too frumpy-looking to carry. And though Mercedes says that its new standard-bearer targets the Bentley Continental GT, we might posit that the car’s greatest adversary- precedent- has already been conquered. In the S-class coupe, this sometimes-stodgy company, with its uneven success at adapting its design language to the 21st century, has produced a modern masterpiece. Probably smart to put the designers in charge on this one.

Specifications

·         Vehicle type: Front-engine, 4-wheel-drive, 4-passenger, 2-door coupe

·         Base price: $120,000-$160,000

·         Engines: Twin-turbocharged and intercooled dohc 32-valve 4.7-liter V-8, 449 hp, 516 lb-ft; Twin-turbocharged and intercooled dohc 32-valve 5.5-liter V-8, 577 hp, 664 lb-ft transmission 7-speed automatic with manual shifting mode

·         Dimensions: Wheelbase: 115.9 in; Length: 197.9-198.6 in; Width: 74.8-75.3 in; Height 55.6-56.0 in; Curb weight: 4650-4700 lb

·         Performance: Zero to 60 mph: 3.7-4.6 sec; Zero to 100 mph: 8.7-11.1 sec; 1/4-mile: 12.1-13.1 sec

·         Top speed: 155-186 mph

·         Projected fuel economy: Epa city/hwy: 16-17/24-27 mpg

 

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