The AMG motor hums away beneath it all,
utterly unstressed by cruising, and when you choose to push it, calmly forces
the world into reverse. It’s not hugely aggressive or face-deforming, just
insistent and mighty. Once more, there’s a raft of acronyms available to make
the S-Coupe experience even less hassle, and, to be honest, I got a bit lost in
the list. Again. Merc calls it Intelligent Drive, but if it gets any more
intelligent, it’ll probably become self-aware and be given the vote. Pre-Safe
braking with pedestrian detection, Distronic-Plus cruise, Brake Assist with
Cross-Traffic Assist, Active Lane-Keeping Assist, Collision Prevention Assist
Plus, Highbeam Assist, Night View Assist.
Compared
to the old CL, there is now improved steering precision around the straight
ahead
Basically, the S-Coupe monitors its
surroundings constantly, in media unavailable to paltry human senses, and can
make decisions without you even knowing – it’ll predict what passers-by might
do, steer itself in certain situations, brake if you fail to from speeds of
more than 62mph, and even predict if it’s going to get rear-ended in traffic,
and so lock the brakes and draw the seat-belt pretensioners so that you don’t
get whiplash. We’re looking at an autonomous car in all but name and insurance
liability.
Sounds a bit overwhelming, but you never
really notice any of it, except when you get to a destination feeling more
relaxed than when you left. It really is that soothing. And even when you have
to expedite a quick country road blast, the S-Coupe has yet another trick up
its fathomless sleeves: Magic Body Control with a curve-tilting function.
The
touchpad acts a bit like a smartphone: you can operate functions with finger
gestures
The concept is pretty much
self-explanatory: with the system engaged, when you tip the Coupe into a
corner, a pair of stereoscopic cameras mounted in the windscreen read the road
ahead and adjust the suspension to absorb bumps exactly like on the S-Class,
but this time also instruct the air suspension to lean into the direction of
travel like a motorbike, keeping you upright and unruffled. In practice, it
feels quite weird at first, but soon you find yourself driving with the system
and gently carving through corners like a two-tonne skier. Interestingly, Mercedes
makes a big point of explaining that this isn’t a system for going faster –
there’s a Sport mode for that, in which the system doesn’t engage – but more
for comfort. And it works. If you’ve got passengers that get travel sick, this
is the $170,960 answer. It also feels like the kind of trick you won’t tire of
showing off.
Nav
includes terrain modeling and photorealistic buildings, all on an enormous TFT
screen
Interestingly, though, the armour is not
without chinks. The 7spd MCT gearbox in the AMG can still hesitate slightly or
thump a change or two at inopportune moments, though there’s a 9spd auto ’box
due in the UK-spec S500 that deals with the issue. The steering can feel
divorced at times, and even though the big S can do a passing impression of a
much smaller car, there’s always the feeling that you’re being insulated from
physics by lots of very, very clever electronics. It’s not exactly a natural,
seat-of-the-pants experience. There’s also the fact that the AMG still feels
slightly out of kilter with the general ambience of the S-Coupe.
S500’s
4.6-litre V8 with 450bhp is enough for most
If forced to make a decision on which to
drive across Europe, I think I might be more tempted by the straight S500,
which still delivers strong performance without the slight straining edge of
the AMG, which definitely tempts you to illegality. It’s also $49,580 cheaper
at $164,120, which is still a decent chunk of change, even at this end of the
market. But saying that, the S-Coupe is what a flagship is all about: every
conceivable piece of edge-cutting in a beautiful, slightly over-the-top format.
It makes very little sense in practical terms, but is nonetheless a rather
wonderful car.
Which leads me to the conclusion that
nobody really needs a huge 2dr coupe with Swarovski crystals in the headlights,
582bhp and more computers than PC World, but as pointlessly brilliant things
go, it doesn’t get much better than this.
