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Is It Time To Tweet? (Part 1)

8/10/2012 2:36:59 PM

It seems everyone is at it. But is Twitter for people with too much time on their hands? Or is it the best new way to communicate and keep up with the news? Jo Craven takes the leap and finds out

I never thought Twitter would be for me. I’ve had many conversations where my girlfriends and I puzzled over what kind of losers found time to tweet. Wasn’t it just a lot of over-sharing? Tweeting was for Stephen Fry, or people with things to sell, wasn’t it? I’m a married mother of two. It wasn’t for people like me. But, somehow, Twitter crept up on me. Three years ago, I took the first step and created an account (I had to be @CravenJo, as some imposter had got @JoCraven first).

Description: Is It Time To Tweet?

Is It Time To Tweet?

I had an initial flurry of following a few famous people -@AlaindeBotton for wise sayings and @StephenFry, because everyone follows him – but was never tempted to tweet. I was what Twitter users sniffily refer to as a ‘lurker’ – silently stalking people without ever joining in the chat. But then I started to notice that actual conversations were happening. Witty banter was taking place, with people firing tweets back at each other. I had to wonder: was I missing out? Was it time for me to join the Twitterati and actually – gasp – write a tweet of my own?

Day1

It’s 11.59am when I sit down at my computer. I dawdle and look up my friend Chloe, who started tweeting a few months ago, and see she gave up after 15 tweets. I can’t decide if my goal is to ‘trend’ like feminist author Linda Grant did on International Women’s Day when her question about examples of sexual discrimination threw up thousands of responses in hours and put her top of the Twitter Trending list. Or do I just want to be popular and funny, and have lots of followers? Who exactly is @CravenJo? Is she newsy and topical? Or is she wry and amusing?

Description: Nearly a whole day has gone by and all I have done is send one pathetic tweet. I’m beginning to think Twitter might get a little time-consuming.

Nearly a whole day has gone by and all I have done is send one pathetic tweet. I’m beginning to think Twitter might get a little time-consuming.

And what if I upset someone? We live in the age of cyberbullies and if someone doesn’t like what I have to say, I’ll soon hear about it. I don’t want enemies: I want this to be fun. Also, what if (worst of all) it turns out I’m a boring tweeter that no one wants to follow? Enough procrastination, I need to settle on a voice and get going. As I’m a journalist, fellow writers and fashion commentators are the main people I follow, so I could ape their style, which is a bit tough-girls-in-the-playground. But what on earth could I possibly think worthy from my life to share? Perhaps I’ll try replying to someone – a toe-in-water approach. It takes three attempts, but I finally send a reply to Sunday Times journalist Camilla Long (7,000-odd followers). I can’t bear to repeat it here: it was too tragic. I am sick with regret, but my tweet seems immediately to disappear into the ether. But nothing ever truly disappears on the internet. That cringy first tweet of mine is now part of my ‘digital footprint’ – out there, somewhere, forever. I must try harder. Nearly a whole day has gone by and all I have done is send one pathetic tweet. I’m beginning to think Twitter might get a little time-consuming.

Day2

Somehow, I have 13 followers. It turns out I know all of them, except one. Who on earth is this person and why are they following me? It’s a little like being started at by a stranger on the bus. But I will have to get used to this as my followers soar (they will, won’t they?). No response from Camilla. Admittedly she is in Uganda on an assignment, so I can’t take this personally. I tell myself I need to be more thick-skinned.

Description: Twitter is an excellent way to pass the time. This is an indisputable fact.

Twitter is an excellent way to pass the time. This is an indisputable fact.

Tweeting is not coming naturally. I see now I must make a concerted effort to tweet. In normal life, if I see something remarkable or make an observation, I tell whoever may be with me. Occasionally I’ll remember to email something relevant to someone, but generally I forget. Now, as a tweeter, I must reassess these thoughts and weigh them up for quality. Is that cinnamon bun, new dress, funny picture of a dog, worthy of a tweet? Do I have an opinion on that Daily Mail article everyone’s tweeting about? Another hour goes by as I read my Twitter feed, clicking through to links and twitpics. Twitter is an excellent way to pass the time. This is an indisputable fact.

I tweet Christa D’Souza, a former colleague, who is travelling in Kabul. I refresh the page. Then I refresh it again. No reply. It’s not like I sent her a personal email to which I might be more hopeful of a reply. A tweet is just a tweet. Yes, she’s ignoring me, but that doesn’t mean we’re not friends… does it?

Day3

Oh god, an old boyfriend is following me and I’ve just tweeted a link to a photo of the cast of Downtown Abbey pictured as dogs. Is that like telling a terrible joke at a party that everyone’s heard before?

Description: An old boyfriend is following me and I’ve just tweeted a link to a photo of the cast of Downtown Abbey pictured as dogs. Is that like telling a terrible joke at a party that everyone’s heard before?

An old boyfriend is following me and I’ve just tweeted a link to a photo of the cast of Downtown Abbey pictured as dogs. Is that like telling a terrible joke at a party that everyone’s heard before?

I believe I have learned lesson number one of Twitter: tweeting is all well and good, but what you really need is people to tweet back. What’s the point of tweeting into the abyss? It’s supposed to be a conversation, isn’t it? I follow the writer James Delingpole and see with envy that he has hundreds of people tweeting him back advising how to deal with a rude person. How can I get that kind of response? My feed is still deafeningly silent.

Day4

Ti honestly all feels unnatural – this ‘sharing’ is pretty un-British, and I am struggling to get the tone right. I decide to strip back to basics and tweet something sweet and innocuous about walking my dog and looking for the first bluebells. To my absolute joy, almost instantly, my lovely, wonderful friend Christine, @Remodelista, retweets my tweet. Success!  A mini-flood of new followers arrive. I skip a little.

Description: . I decide to strip back to basics and tweet something sweet and innocuous about walking my dog and looking for the first bluebells.

. I decide to strip back to basics and tweet something sweet and innocuous about walking my dog and looking for the first bluebells.

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