ICDNT - Six Categories Are Plenty
I've created a new category to go
along with the efficient six you've already put together: ICBL, 'I Can't Be
Luis'. I've come to the conclusion that Deep Blue became self aware after
playing chess with Kasparov in the mid nineties and developed a human iteration
of itself to better blend with we minions. Then, it folded the space-time
continuum to go back far enough into the past to create a relevant human
history to avoid suspicion. And that would be you; there really is no other
explanation. I manage the IT section of a language school and we have two
laptops that are for 'sign-out' usage. I Deep Freeze these (along with my lab
computers) as they would quickly turn into muck if I didn't. As they only
connect wirelessly - being mobile -I can't work a solution to wake-on-LAN with
VLAN/infrastructure issues at my institution, but I also can't remote in from
the logon screen of the machines as the wireless connection only activates once
a user has logged onto an account. I'd like to be able to manage them remotely
by just having somebody turn them on, but I need some sort of fix that
activates the wireless connection at the logon screen and my search has come up
with zilch so far. Do you know of any controllers that would be able to solve
this problem?
Executive summary: Don't bother. Wake
on LAN (WoL) works by sending specially formatted network packets (called magic
packets) to a snoozing computer.
The computer can be almost completely
powered down, with just a tiny bit of power to the motherboard and network
interface card, and it will still spot the magic packet and wake up. Wake on
wireless LAN (WoWLAN) is different. Because the magic packets are sent over the
network, they are encrypted by whatever wireless security you are running.
Which means that the computer needs to stay connected to the basic service set
(BSS), so that it doesn't lose the decryption key for that session. This
restricts the laptops to standby power at the least; hibernation is too deep
for the network card to recognise the magic packet and wake.
You also need a wireless network
interface that is integrated on the motherboard and capable of accessing the
power circuitry on the motherboard. Only certain Intel chipsets can do this.
And the laptops have to be on mains power at all times for it to work. If they
are on battery power when they enter standby, the WoWLAN will be disabled to
preserve the battery life.
And all this for two laptops. If you
set the power saving profile to disable the screen and spin down the hard disks
but nothing else, you'll probably be burning about 40W per laptop maximum.
Compared with, say, 2W in standby. That's 76W of extra power used if you don't
let them sleep. For a ten-hour day, 5-day week and 50-week year, that's
190KWhr, which is about $41.6 of extra electricity a year. You've already
wasted a lot more than that in salaried hours fretting about this whole idea.
Be
prepared for your drive to fail as you should be prepared for the zombie
apocalypse
IMRTIUTB - Hello. Mr. Chips
Hi, to you my mentor, I am a
university student, due to the free fast internet. I have tried to harness this
freedom by initiating torrent downloads on the campus machines but there is no
activity. I presumed it was the settings, so I edited the proxy server settings
but no luck.
Mentor am I? I must be getting senile
because I don't remember ever telling you to leach university bandwidth with
illegal downloads. Yes they have settings to stop you. That is a good thing.
Now go study, before I forward this to the dean.
IUTWANID - Facebook fail
I've recently opened a link that
someone sent me on Facebook... but they didn't. It turns out was some sort of
worm that went straight for my operating memory and I can't seem to get rid of
it. I run ESET Smart Security 5 but it seems to be no match for this new worm
that's making my computer go insane. There's no way in hell that I'm formatting
my system, so what is a guy to do? Insult me all you like just give me an
answer!
Curiosity is a fantastic attribute and
I have no time at all for those dullards that seep incuriously through life.
Ask questions, I say! Let yourself be distracted; take things apart, even if
there is nothing wrong with them; explore the side streets; order something
unfamiliar in a restaurant. But there is a huge difference between being
curious and being an idiot. You are an idiot. Clicking random links in
Wikipedia is always a good idea. Clicking random links on Facebook is always a
bad idea. Remember: if you are a moron, you will tend to make friends with
other morons, so if a moron friend posts a link to a hilarious and/or sexy
video on Facebook, it does not mean that he has checked it out and vouchsafed
it. It just means that he is already infected with the same trojan as you are
now.
Go to http://housecall.trendmicro.
com/uk to scan your PC. Follow the instructions carefully and to the letter.
Now go to your Facebook page and remove the rogue link from your list of Likes
so that none of your other mentally stunted friends will click on it. Finally
go to www. failblog.org and drink deeply of the silly videos there so that you
don't feel the need to click any more random crap on Facebook ever again.
