That Philippe Starck’s a tease, nest capes?
Not content with designing a juicer for people who only pretend to their
friends that they make their own fruit juice and demands to be on display 24/7
because it won’t fit in a bloody drawer, he’s now been telling porkies about
Apple.
Juicer by Philippe Starck
‘Le designer français Philippe Starck a
annoncé aujourd’hui sur France Info qu’il collaborait avec le groupe
informatique américain Apple à un projet “révolutionnaire”,’ reported Le Figaro
(lefigaro.fr). The story was quickly picked up by eagle-eyed Francophile Mac
site (hardmac.com), which summarized: ‘Philippe Starck, the renowned French
designer’ - as Mac User reader David Glen Walker commented, ‘“name-dropping credit
sponge” would’ve been too long’ - ‘indicated that he has been working with
Apple and [this] will give birth to a revolutionary project in eight months.’
What might it be? Hard Mac had an idea: ‘We would put our money on the
revolutionary remote control that will be associated with the future Apple TV
set... Innovation in design and ergonomics are needed, and Starck and his team
are known for that.’
Of course! Starck is working on a
nonexistent remote control for a TV set that has never been made. Quite is a
feather in his cap.
The truth emerged a few days later, but not
before Apple had issued a denial to m EJ23332S] (allthingsd.com): ‘the company
is not working on a new product or project with Starck.’ So what was he on
about? The Wall Street Journal took the revolutionary step of asking him: ‘A
spokeswoman for Starck confirmed that the project involves a yacht... “It’s not
a project with Apple. It’s a private project that began with Steve Jobs and
that has been taken over by his wife.”’
Yep, as revealed in his official biography,
Jobs had been working with Starck on a yacht: ‘I know that it’s possible I will
die and leave Laurene with a half-built boat.’
So that’s what Starck meant when he told Le
Figaro cryptically that he’d visited Jobs once a month to discuss a project.
Put aloes.
“We would put our money on [the Philippe
Starck project being] the revolutionary remote control associated with the
Apple TV set”
And Ferrari is working on a $9.999 roadster
Remember that daft rumor about Apple
working on a 7in version of the iPad? Well, it’s back. And this time it’s -
elm, still just a rumor. Nevertheless, it’s a rumor which has built up a head
of steam in recent weeks.
IPad 7 inch
‘A new iPad model with a smaller form
factor is inevitability, in the eyes of one analyst, though Apple is not
expected to imminently release such a device,’ explained Apple Insider
(appleinsider.com). Stronger stuffed. That one analyst must have access to
someone deep inside Apple to be able to make a declaration like that with such
certainty. These analyst people certainly don’t mess about.
‘Shaw Wu with Sterne Agee has heard since
2009 that Apple was experimenting with screen sizes ranging from as small as
four inches to as large as 12 inches.’ Leaving aside any possible innuendo, we
can’t help thinking a 4in iPad is an iPod. But anyway, ‘the latest rumors have
suggested that Apple has placed more serious thought into releasing an iPad
with a 7.85-inch display.’
Hmm, all is very interesting, but still no
sign of any Deep Throat or smoking gun here. How about the next sentence? ‘[Wu]
believes it would make strategic sense for Apple to expand the iPad family to
boost sales and ward off the competition.’
RIM Playbook navigator
Boost sales and ward off competition? Has
no-one told Shaw that Apple is selling all the iPad it can make and that there
is no competition? Is he trapped behind a wall of unsold RIM Playbooks, unable
to see out?
Let’s see what else Wu believes. ‘Wu
believes that if Apple were to release a new, smaller iPad, it would become the
new entry-level model and undercut the $399 price of the iPad 2.’ Ah, the
perfect opportunity for Apple to undercut itself. Wait, what? ‘Such a move
would expand Apple’s total addressable market.’
Total is addressable market, yes. Never mind
the 60 million iPad already sold. What about all those people clamoring for
other-sized tablets? Who’s addressing their needs?
Pardon our cynicism, but we reckon the
total addressable market for a tiny iPad is one analyst. It looks to us as if
Wu has fallen into that old trap of willing a product into existence because he
fancies one himself.
Days to get longer, then shorter
Faster MacBook Pro will be faster. So says
Mac Rumors (macrumors.com) in one of the safer predictions it will make this
year.
How can it be sure? It’s been reading CPU
world, which benchmarked some chips that may or may not be used in the new
MacBook Pro and compared them with the results from chips that are sort of like
those used in the current MacBook Pros, but actually a bit better. This is how
tech journalism gets done, kids.
‘Amid swirling rumors of an imminent update
for the 15-inch MacBook Pro driven by a claimed April 29 launch date for
Intel’s quad-core mobile Ivy Bridge processors, CPU World reports that
benchmarking of one of the chips likely to appear in the new MacBook Pro shows
fairly significant improvements in performance, particularly in graphics.’
MacBook Pro 15 inch in 2012
So by adjusting CPU World’s results, which
showed a smallish increase in performance, Mac-Rumors was able to come up with
its determination of ‘fairly significant’. Clever is, huh? Although we can’t
see Apple using, that is as a tagline in its advertising.
But enough of the performance - let’s talk
about specs.
‘The new 15-inch MacBook Pro is rumored to
arrive as soon as this month with Intel’s Core i5 and Core i7 Ivy Bridge
processors,’ explains ‘Reports have suggested Apple’s new notebooks could
include Intel’s Core i7-3820QM and Core i7-3720QM models featuring integrated
HD 4000 graphics.’
OK, that’s the geek stuff. We know what you
really want to hear about. What will they look like? ‘The new MacBook Pros are
expected to be noticeably thinner and lighter in design, and will eschew the
spinning disc drive to adopt a form factor similar to Apple’s thin-and-light
MacBook Air’
A MacBook Pro that’s thinner (not fatter!)
and lighter (not heavier!) and more like a MacBook Air (which is thinner and
lighter)? Stop us if you’ve heard that one before. Oh. Too is late.
“By adjusting the results, Mac-Rumors was
able to come up with a verdict of ‘fairly significant'. We can't see Apple
using that in ads”
